dancing_fllakes's Xanga

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:00:03 GMT

*BOO!!*

did i scare you??
i just realized how long i didn't blog here...more than a year...gosh...
neways...i've actually blogged somewhere else...
i almost forgot how to use this thing...
ohyar...having SPM now...
6 more days of exams...23 hours and 30 minutes more of papers...
11 days more to holiday!!...
seems kinda fast...never thought that i would actually sit for SPM...
i lived for the past 17 years...woa....
never thought i could come his far...
but yea...for now...been studying but no idea how i'll do
i got chosen for NS
TAHNIAH! anda telah terpilih untuk mengikuti Program Khidmat Negara Siri 4/2007...
i guess in a way, it's something to be thankful for...
i can't wait to play all those games...i just dislike the marching part
and also the bathing part...
ohyar...
my next dream is to go for a mission trip...
dunno why this came to me...but i'll wait till the time comes...
hehe...
neways...just in case i don't blog here anymore...
you can check out my other blog...
http://dinlgydangly.spaces.live.com/
...got lots of pictures there...
kk...
gtg now...bye!!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 09:12:06 GMT

one whole week has passed...so fast...exams are getting so near...but yea...this whole week has been realy packed...and horrible...

9th September 2005

this date...this date....gosh....the first thing which comes to my mind....I HATE GUYS...I HATE GUYS!!....actually not all guys lar...just *some* people....i wanted to be a little ruder but guess i shouldn't...so yea...hehe...this is how it all happened...ohyar...keep this p & co....don't spread around...

it was a normal friday like any other friday...like usual "he" is finding for some arguements...so yea...normal thing for him...then after recess...we had our pj....the time changes here and there so yea...then we had add maths....billy got hurt during pj lesson....i think he fell down and hurt his elbow which is bleeding...and he was sitting right in front of the girl sitting next to me...and the blood is kinda gross lar...and here comes the irritating "him"...then sisi ask billy to go and bandage his wound and three of us agreed...except "him"....he said that billy doesn't wan his wound to be bandaged...and so on lar....but billy just follow sisi to the room lar....and "he" followed along...complaining all the way...when he came back...he was so very irritating....he kept on complaining...and here comes him blaming me...saying that i said billy MUST go and bandage his wound...i didn't even say MUST....he just went...and then he say that the teacher scold billy lar...and so on...after he complained so much...and then he say that i shouldn't campur tangan when i don't need to....billy is my fren and he's just sitting like...so call in front of me...am i suppose to not bother when his wound is bleeding??...then he said " all CF people also like that one...always like to fight wan..." gosh....i didn't start the arguement, "he" did...so i say...finelar...and that i don't want to continue argueing with him...i just shut my mouth and rest my head on the table...the anger burning in me...then you know wat he say..."haih...leave your God lar....come join the devil"....i feel like slapping him...but i didn't...at least i still know my limits...i just rest my head on the table without realising that tears start to roll down my cheeks...i was so angry...i was so hurt...not long ago he made me so angry....only on that very day i learn to forgive him and here he comes again....making me so angry...i cried and cried...i just couldn't stop and no idea how but my frens realised and "he" too realised....and you know wat he said..."haih...let her cry lar...let her cry lar...haih...only those who worship god will cry wan..."....i really feel like showing him that i can stop crying and i didn't cry because of God i cry because i really hate him....i cried for the whole period....when the next period teacher entered the class...i didn't stand up to wish her....i don't want anymore people to know i'm crying...haih...that very moment...i just feel like changing class...i just feel like not seeing him anymore...i just want to skip school....i really really hate him...i hate him so much...then i spoke to God...He was there with me all along...the only One i could talk to that moment...after that incident...i didn't even talk to him at all...i didn't look at him...i hate him so much...till this very moment...when i return home, i went straight to bed and cry all over again...talking to God every moment....THANK YOU LORD!!! SATAN IS UNDER MY FEET!!!

10th September 2005, Saturday

it is a saturday i know...but i have school...replace ment class....again i have to stay in the same class as he is...the whole day i didn't talk to him...i didn't even look at him...i sit far away from him...even when there's somehting i needed to give him but i didn't....i just put it aside...i wish i could just tear it away...but i didn't...thinking of the incident the day before made me wanna cry all over again....then when school ended...i feel much better...knowing that i won't be seeing him till monday...but when i reach home...i realised that i am worship leading in youth the next day....but i was really lazy and i was really in a wrong mood...but then...i just called all my musicians...which i can't get almost all of them...and then i went online...trying to get my guitarists...finding out that they both can't play....then i told one of the guitarist who is also the president lar...same age wan....i told him the whole thing...and he ask me to call later...it was 9 soemthing already...so yea...i just called...but sitll can't get them...then i told him and he say...wait lar...call them later...i was like...siao??...so he say...haih...don't disturb me lar...don't bother me with things you can decide on your own...guess wat's in my mind..."who's the one who's not able to play guitar for me now huh?"....but i didnt say anything....my wonderful sister replied the message for me...with such rude stuff...scolding him like siao...which is usually dont'...heeh...and he said..."i think you should pray"....hehe...actually i'm alright...then he ask me to call tm, the worship coordinator...which i say don't need....i asked him whether i can change it to a short prayer session...he say he will ask tm to call me...my sis replied...watever...so yea...i went downstairs to continue with my studies...hoping that things will go well...coz i know God will get things right...then suddenly the phone rang and i picked it up....it was tm...

tm: hello, can i speak to jovy please

me: errr....hang on

[pass the phone to my sis...]

jo: hello, who's this on the line?

tm: teck meng here...it jovy there?

jo: tm ar...she's sleeping already...too angry...

tm: ohh...then nvmlar...

*sweat*

haha...scare me...tm is a cery very cheong hei lecturer...haha...but yar....my sis helped me through...haha...i was okay lar...so i did went to sleep at last....praying to God...waiting and hoping that my musicians will all appear all of a sudden...and hoping that tm won't lecture me in youth...

11th September 2005, Sunday

EHYT....hehe...she's back from aussie...haih...miss her so much...but she's only coming back at night...so can't meet her...haih...okie...early in the morning i woke up and spent some time with God...and then went to church...guess wat....MY MUSICIANS ARE ALL THERE!! i knew God will do everything...hehe...tm was there also...i didnt really dare to look at him...just kept looking away....hehe...then i chose the songs...and then start the practice...with like...not much mood...but i know truly that this is not for me ...this is for God...then we prayed and we start the worship...thw whole worship was so wonderful....after so many times worship leading...i guess this was the best coz i really focused on God and letting him speak through me...i had no mood and i had no strength...but he hold me...and brought me through...for the first time after a very very long time...the youth was serious with God...hands were lifted high up....prayed for the spm and pmr students...then i end the worship with a prayer...bringing people back to the right track...i know it wasn't me speaking...it was God...after the session, tm followed me into the room and told me that it was great...still, i didn't dare to have any eye contact with him...till he mentioned that he called me the night before and my sis said tat i was sleeping...he said he knew i wasn't...which truly i wasn't...hehe...so yea...but God was merciful...He was so great...God was so GOOD to me....I LOVE YOU!!....

Today

i didn't got school today...i had nose bleed...no idea why...maybe coz of all the pressure...hehe...but yea....i'm good now....haih...have to meet "him" again tomorrow...i don't know how to survive...but i know God is with me...and whether or not i forgive him...no idea....just have to wait till the anger go off...i will never join the devil....NEVER!! do you hear me devil??....I WILL NEVER JOIN YOU!! NEVER!! God will always be in my heart...and He will always be with me...i love God...I LOVE JESUS!!...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 10:32:08 GMT

~ Jesus is the answer ~

~ for the world today ~

~ above him there's no other ~

~ Jesus is the way ~

hie!!

the whole afternoon i spent my time listening to sermons...how great...but seriously, it was great. now this song is playing round my head...figure it won't come out till exams...hehe...the sermons are by pastor kong in singapore now...hehe...he's very...erm...influential...i think...can't get the exact word...but yea....you should hear his sermons...but today also...i got back online with God...lately coz of studies i sorta backslided...then after i hear the sermon by pastor kong bout backsliding and something like that...yealor...i'm awaken now...yea...i'm ermm...back on track...i hope...

GOD IS GREAT, K??

NO ONE CAN EVER COMPARE TO HIM!! and i mean no one...NO ONE!!

HE'S THE ANSWER TO THE WORLD!!

Jesus is the answer

for the world today

above him there's no other

Jesus is the way....

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 07:16:21 GMT

~unfair~

...no idea...i feel so useless...am i? okay...erm...i've been trying to change myself lately...in a way i feel better now...time to just let go everything....this period of time where she's not around me make me feel that i don't have anything to worry...except for her safety...but i know God will protect her...i know...

but today...all of a sudden, i feel so sorry...i feel that something is just not right...was it me? did i do something wrong? is it just becoz we're not together anymore? is it coz i haven't been with you? why? am i not your fren anymore? am i not your sister anymore? i miss you a lot!! i just wish to see a smile on your face when i pass you by. i just wish we can be like the old times where we just laugh, cry, hug and chat together....i miss you a lot...and i'm waiting for you to be my fren again. i may have done something wrong in the past which might have hurt you but i really don't know...i'm sorry....i feel so tired seeing you all so down. i'm glad you are changing lives out there but i really wish i can fall into your arms again. my heart hurts...my heart is crying out...i don't know wat to do. of all the people around me, why you? why? no matter how much others may hate me or look down on me or avoid me but please not you too...i trusted you...i trusted you...don't give me the look which tells me that i'm not your fren anymore...the *i don't know you* look...i wish you understand...i wish you know...i'm sorry...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 10:25:31 GMT

^hOLidAYz!^

holidays just started...it's more like homework days...anyway...at least i don't need to go to school. okie...actually i came on to blog bout something which happened on friday...i just wasn't able to blog it earlier...so yar...

on friday...it was coco day. sorta boring...my frens didn't come...some of my not really close frens came..so i join them lor...let me go straight to the point. the day before, i really didn't want to go to school...it seems like there's no reason to go to school. but i don't know why...i just feel that i should go...and now i know why...after my morning prefect's duty...i went back to class...then i went and to my kimia homework...then i heard YS talking bout God and how he don't agree with everything....i got so distracted from my homework and went and sit right in front of him...next to a SL who was sitting next to him and trying to convience him...so yea...we went a lot about the Bible...and he kept on denying...and at last he say that even if the truth is the truth, he rather go to hell...i almost knock his head...he said that there aren't any responsibilities in hell...but loads in heaven....people...please...whether you are up in heaven or down in hell...there are always responsibilities...even to live as a soul is a responsibility...so yea...and i really got mad when he say something bad bout God....guess wat i did...maybe i'm a bit too ganas...but yea...i took the pensel case which is the nearest thing i could take hold of and wack him a few times till i chill...so yea...a ganas lady...but who in the world am i going to stand someone who's talking bout my God....and you know wat...i found out something...i went to school on that day for a reason....a meaningful school day...better than going and studying...and i realise once again how awesome God is...i realise how important he is in my life....i realise how much i'm blessed by Him....he was great....he was awesome...thank you Lord....

now...okie...on friday night i went to church to watch left behind episode 1 and saturday, left behind episode 2....it was really nice....but i was really tired...wat to do...haha...listen to this conversation:

A : i don't need God. there are many more good people out there and i am one of them too. i don't need God and i don't want to give up anything. i've lost my wife and i've lost my children.

B : but..but...there's sure a time you need Him...and this is not something you buy....this is a gift...you don't have to give up anything...God wants you...God loves you...Jesus died on the cross for me and you...He forgives you...

A : yea right...i'm a good person...i've not murdered anyone...so yea...

C : hey....you said you are innocent...have you obey the 10 commandments?

A : yea...most of it...i didn't murder anyone

C : okie...let me ask you....have you ever lied?

A : yea....everyone does that...

C : wat does that makes you?

A : human?

C : you know wat i mean...if you rob someone, you are call a robber...so if you lie, wat does that make you?

A : fine...a liar

C : have you ever steal something in your life?

A : no....

C : not even a little thing...when you were young?

A : i think i did once when i was small

C : wat does that make you?

A : a theive

C : yea....and as the Bible says...anyone who looks at a woman lustly has already commited adultery in his heart. have you ever do that?

A : yea...yea....i know...so it makes me an adulterer, right?

C : yes...and that's only 3 of the commandments...do you still consider yourself as a good person? you need Jesus...eternal life is a gift from God...all you have to do is to accept it....

***********************************************

it makes me wonder how many commandments i actually kept...and whether i can use that way of talking when i tell my frens bout Jesus...i'm not sure...hmmm....i'll see how...hehe...yea...now i gtg...my leg hurts...shop too much....ciaoz...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:22:47 GMT

*missing you*

i had a very tiring day today...my "wonderful" pj teacher force us to do long distance run, sit ups, touchy toe and push ups all in one go...so tiring...now my back ache...haah...neways...i'm weak...

actually i came on coz...i dunno where to jot it...i'm missing someone really much...tomorrow she is going off...i won't be able to see her for a month...i kept thinking bout her...i feel so alone...i feel so sad...i wish i could just hug her one last time before she goes off...but i guess i won't have the chance...she's someone really special to me in my life...someone who's been very important to me and who's there for me when i needed her...all i can hope is that she comes home safely in one piece and that she enjoy her time there...may God bless her...the way He blessed me by placing her in my life...girl...i'll miss you...ciaoz..

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 11:08:23 GMT

hey!!

okie...firstly i would i like to say something...to all the people out there...especially you-know-who...

i'm not sure why and i'm not sure what's wrong but i know that you are angry with me...in a way you are showing it...and i think you hate me for who i am now...i know i've changed a lot and maybe till the extent where you just hate me even more. i may not be the same person i was last time but it's not easy for me too....in any ways....i'm really sorry if i had hurt your feelings...i'm not sure how long our frenship will last and i'm not sure whether you still consider me as your fren...but no matter wat...you'll always be my fren...love you always...this message is to the people who had always been with me in form 3....i'll always remember the times we had...

***********************************************************

this week had been boring...nothing much happen...just study and do homework and sleep and eat and wake up...everyday routine. haven't been online much and haven't been chatting with people much except the few people in my class...ermm...i had the siao moment in class on friday...no idea why....sorta lost my sense of humour after so much studying...now, i'm worrying bout end term...i better not fail anything...okie...to be exact...i better not get any donkeys...i have enough of that...for that, i'm going to study like siao...i'm not going to let my parents down and i'm not going to let God down...plus...i will not allow myself to let myself down and my wonderful frens who's always there to teach me....i'll never let the people around me down...i need to study....please help me man...phew....that's all bout the days i have..haha...klar...ciao...zzz....

Friday, July 15, 2005

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 11:03:34 GMT

aih...

today's a really bad day....

i've been sick for these few days...

it's getter worse...gosh...

now i'm having fever...

when will i get better...

makes me feel like not doing anything at all...

i feel so tired...

you know what...in this world, no one is trustable...in other words..there's no one we can trust fully. only one person whom i can always trust...the Lord Jesus Christ. i got the shock of my life today and i also got the most hurtful moment today. today, the person i trusted so much...all of a sudden hurt me so much...it's like i've given another chance and another disappointment...i'm so afraid now...from today on, i shall keep my mouth shut...shut..shut...shut...good right?...i think so too...but i think i shouldn't blame that person coz it's my fault. i'm not that angry with her coz i know that in the first place i shouldn't have told her anything. but you knwo what...how can i don't tell her...when she's my best fren...my gosh...life is hard to live. neways, i'm actually angry with the guy more coz he just don't want to listen to me...he didn't give me a chance to explain and say sorry. even the things i didn't do, he also just say i do. what in the world man...i feel so so angry and hurt for being accused of soemthing i didn't do. but i know if i were him, i might react like this also...so yea...now i dunno what to do....haih...haih...he scolded me in class...and didn't give me a chance to speak...i feel so so so hurt...but you know wat...i'm just such a good actress...i acted like i have no feelings...and that i am all fine...did my accounts homework...with tears kept trying to flow out...till finally i just put my head in my arms and table...and cried...i didn't know wat to do...i feel so so so sad...i kept crying....and then when i finally calm down, i just close my eyes and talk to God...then i rest my eyes for a while and then i look up...i feel so sad...so hurt....but i think i'm not the only one...all thanks to God i'm kinda okie now...

next scene....

i came home from tuition...and i went online...and you knwo wat...i was shocked when i pass by my fren's photoes and found out that she has a boyfren...my gosh...okie...that's not that badlar...still okie...then i went to the bf's site and guess wat i saw...the shock of my life...i didn't know she would do that...a picture of her kissign the guy...gosh...gosh....shocked enough...i'm sitll thinking whether is she serious or not wan....she was my role model and now...ermmm....i dunno what to say....neways...no spreading news around...klar...i gtg now...have to take rest again...fever rising again...haih...bye...

Monday, July 11, 2005

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 09:11:45 GMT

heyo!!

i'm so so so tired...came home from prefects camp yesterday...it was...ermmm....fun, tiring, exciting but yet i feel very sad. dont' ask why. just sad lar. erm...yesterday when i reach school at 1 o'clock...my mum fetch me at 1:30...then went for lunch...which i didn't eat lar...too tired...then i went tennis and badminton...till ermm...7 something...then went straight to church for durian feast...where i didn't eat anything durians...hehe...then at around 9 something...went mc donalds...ate...reach home at 10 something...then bathe...then only can start homework...so tired...slept 12 something....went school today...half dead...haha...but i survived...having fever but then i think i can survive lar...that's bout it lar...

**********************************************************

you know how people just always forget their responsibilities. how humans just love to blame others. pointing fingers...so on. during prefects camp, i have been thinking a lot...not bout love or anything..but about responsibility. mainly, i've been thinking of my responsibility towards my family, my frens, my church, my school, myself and most of all God.

family - you know how sometimes we just hate our sisters and brothers...how we hate our parents for the things they did to us. i just tend to blame them for every single thing which went wrong that sometimes i forgot that i have the responsibility for what they did.

frens - i know that since i step into the year 2005, i've been changing a lot. i know i've been playing around with life. and i've been kinda away from my frens. joining prefects had made me even more unclose to my frens. spending so little time with them. didn't have the heart to listen or help. just feel like keeping quiet...be alone. all the promises i've made, it seems like i just can't do it anymore. i feel like a total different person. i feel like i just don't want to care about anything else besides myself. where's my responsibility towards my frens. i feel like i'm hated by many. i know that people are talking behind my back but i feel that i just cna't be bothered. frens are like getting less and less important day by day. now, even my best fren seem deserted to me. i feel so uncomfortable to share any problems...any secrets with my frens...even my best fren.

church - what cani say here. i know i'm a bad girl lately. and erm...the responsibilities i was given in church had been put aside. like wat my fren say...studies rise, God left aside. i haven't been going for prayer meeting every saturday. i've stopped doing newsletter. i didn't have the heart to worhsip lead. i didnt' have the heart to help out during discussion. i was just a lazy pig waiting for eveything to end. waiting for people to do the work. i just feel so tired working all the while. there's not a week i can just attend without having something to do. i feel like i'm working...not serving. i feel like i don't have a choice. i feel so burdened when people just expect so much from me. i don't feel myself and i just don't know wat to do. and you know wat...i'm worship leading this week...oh gosh...i just don't know how.

God - this here is like ermm...the thing i think the most. i haven't been spending time with God for like i dunno how long already. i have been thinking whether do i still believe in him. but the only time i spoke to him is before i eat dinner. it's been like a habit of me saying thank you and just eat. when reponsibility came into my mind...where's the responsibilities i have towards God? i asked me to give me chances to serve and now, i didn't even bother bout it. reading the bible...something i ought to do...but i feel so bored and so tired. there are so many questions but no answers. i'm so lazy to ask him. i dont' find the point of aksing anymore. i never get the answer. i know i hold responsible for that too...but i really feel so tired.

for now, i think i will just try to leave this life as it is for now. bout worship leading this week, i'm pretty unsure bout wat to do. if anyone can help, please do help me. i just feel so tired. the heart to lead is like...dead....i got to go now...homework again...haih...form 4....life....klar...

Monday, June 27, 2005

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 10:33:23 GMT

hey hey!!

no worries...kinda good mood today...for now...

let's see...i think i shall start with wat happen on saturday...

Saturday

early in the morning...i went to school lor...like usual...got guides mar...it's funner than usual...we did some boy stuff instead this time...learning how to tie wood together...FUN!! we did cross...for once...i enjoy guides...and then....i took cab home with peggy....reach home earlier than usual...and then i stay at home lor...and then so suddenly i decided to go for taman sea's campfire...hehe....with yen yen lor...so i told my mum and she say okie mar...so i go lor...when i reach there...hmm...hard to find for my frens..blablabla...let's go straight to the point....

the thing started...late...met my old old frens....miss them so much...look so different too...haih....all the memories we had...haha...lots of funness...let's see...we had nightwalk...that wan was kinda funny and embrassing at the same time...i did have fun though...me and yen plan to dance together...didn't really bother bout guys lar...then when we got up...this "guys" approach lar...my gosh man...dunno what to do...gave weird looks then just dance lar...when we exchanged partners...that one was worse...the "guys" tried to be so friendly but i was so shy...since i dunno any of them...i think i step on someone's foot...hahha...then after that we had all the rest of the stuff....till the end...we found out that the fire was fake...haha....like paper only....then after that...we had this tunnel thingy...that wan i love a lot...but before we started...like usual we were asked to go out lar...so i did lar...with yen lar...duh....then this weird guy came and ask whether i got partner or not...and whether i wanna you know lar...so i straight away reject...the word "NO" came out so fast...i think it didn't even went through my brain...haha...i think he was shocked...coz later...whenever i pass him by...he gave me weird look...hha...but who cares..haah...that was the end of saturday...

Sunday

i went to church feeling so so so tired...wanna sleep all the while...tried to focus on God...and i did lor...since i'm so tired...and then after church went eat MC DONALD!!....then after taht i came home and sleep...didn't want to go swimming at first but my mum force me to....i was having headache but still force to go...so i just go lar...since i do need excersice...getting so much fatter...haha...eating a lot lately...let's see....ohyar....

went swimming with my elder sister...having sorta "fun"...i play floating...and i hit my head on the wall a few times...haha...didn't see the wall lar...i'm sorta blind looking upwards...then here comes the horrible part....two "wonderful" NOT...guys....they were like aiyor...me and my sis were having fun till they appear...trying to show off....looking at us...i got so irritated that me and my sis went to the jakusi...how ever you spell that...and we talk there lor...then they pulak follow...so i just went into the pool...i can't stand them looking at me...so irritating...can't swim...not only did they look...they trying to berlagak lar...doing stupid stunts in water...make my head laugh till drop....when we went into the pool again...they follow also...then they came and talk to us lar...i didn't open my mouth at all...haha...just dont' like to talk to them....they wanted to challenge my sis to swim...my sis say no...i told my sis to say no also...they force lar...the butterfly...backstrock...freestyle...so on...my gosh...terpaksa swim lar...then after the stupid swim thingy...they started talking...and start to berlagak lar...wat host for tv 3 and 8 tv...and they are like 17...shish....berlagak betul...guys guys...okay...not to insult guys but they are like that lar...not all guys are like that though...haha....so yar lar...

Today

wat do you think happen today...hmm...in a way..i'm memang sensitive...no idea why...but i'm made this way...so...ermm....couldn't get up from bed this morning...darn tired...*yawnz*...still tired now...today in school...i was sorta like...thinking so much bout him...then suddenly i asked myself why i'm so dumb...haha...yes i am...once again...i told myself to just forget about it...haha...so yar...i did...then later that day...somehow...i met him lar...why in the world did that happen when i forgot about him...life life...haha...but anyways...life will still go on...okie...forget about that issue...case sensitive...erm...then...the whole day walk up and down only...so tired...i feel like i'm "taufu far" now...hehe...not much homework today lar...not that i know lar...haih....but others i think it's okielor...haih....and then today after school right...guess where i go...i went shopping....IKEA and Jusco...both....so tired when i return...my legs gone already...haha...i washed the horrible aquarium...ewww....but anyways...they are fishes...and they are cute in a way...so yar...that's all for today lor...wait...that's they good part...can i go to the bad part?...heeh

~^badddd^~

i just hate my name...i tried to accept it in a positive way...but shish...when will i ever not listen to others...i hate people calling me names...and i hate my name...why in the world did my name became my name?...why? why?...i hate my name...and i hate my name...shish...no one can ever hate their name more than i hate my name...shish...shish...

okie...done with the hating...now...ermm...let's see...i've drifted far away from a lot of things...i felt lost in a way...but just don't know how to go back...so tired of trying...just wanna give up...but still...life will still go on...won't it...haih...why do i just feel like i jsut can't be bothered...??...is that good or bad?...haven't been reading Bible much lately except story books lar...don't find the reason to read anymore...is like...i'm so tired and when i read i feel so tired...then i just fall asleep forgetting what i read...so yar...lazy already lar...i know one day i'll read again wan...so just wait and see...

you know wat...i've been havin bone aches lately...and you know wat...i'm suspected to have bone cancer...haih...wat to do...haih....life is just short...i got nothing to say...not till it's confirm...

~^goood^~

* i love my room

* i got mirror now

* i just love my room so much

* ooo...i just love it so much...

* haha...i'm nuts...

* ohyar...should i got for cheer?

* maybe...

* i just love to read lately...actually study...

* i wanna read dictionary...but i just can't find for it

* i'm becoming lazy yet better...

* lazy to do homework...

* rajin...read books

* i'm getting quieter...

* i'm getting siaoer

* i'm getting happier lately...